A glimpse of yesterday's Burberry show at London Fashion Week

Chloe Green continues to fall below expectations... tie dye leggings?.... really?

Chloe Green NEEDS to sort herself out, stat.

On the 23rd of this month Chloe Green partied it up at Whiskey Mist in London and made me very sad. I find it appalling that someone with her time, resources and connections chooses to look like this. She needs to sort herself out. It's fine if she wasn't subjecting us to this on television. I don't mean to be a bitch but she needs a trainer, a good bra and maybe some kind of facial surgery..... just saying.

And speaking of could have been mothers (had she not aborted Mark Wright's baby).... Lauren Goodger continues to terrify us with her thighs

Perhaps unsurprisingly Lauren Goodger's body continued to assail my eyes both last week and over the weekend. She has continued her trend of bar hopping, wearing far to little and resultantly making me want to rip my corneas out. To make matters worse the more she goes out, the more she drinks, the bigger she gets and the more of her there is to cause my pain. In fact her thighs appear to have taken inspiration from Pinky and the Brain and are plotting to take over the world.

To be fair to Lauren- her thighs were not the only pair to be causing me stomach pain. Chloe Green was spotted looking worse for wear and putting her, imperfect, body on show. I usually like Chloe. She has good style. But she needs to remember that what is on trend may not be flattering and that is a statement that clearly applies to this ensemble..... I would even be willing to suggest that Lauren looks better. And trust me that statement is as shocking to me as the result of Man U, Man City's game yesterday was to the majority of the male world.

I would like to say however that Lauren Pope was the redeeming feature of the night. I have to say I thought she looked absolutely stunning in her red dress and her hair looked PERFECT. I do have to say however that as Lauren Goodger's roommate I do resent her apparent unwillingness or inability to get Lauren to (a) stay inside less (b) wear more clothes when she is beyond the confines of her house.

Chloe Green is a (NOT) hot mess at the Tyler Shields exhibit.