So a few weeks ago (actually I can be precise- it was four weeks yesterday, the date is pretty much etched in my brain) I endured a horrific assault on my hair, courtesy of 'The Nail Place' on 32 Musa far Adua Street in Lagos and at the hands of Jonathon- or as I like to call him 'my tormenter'. It was a crime which left me with rocking what my boyfriend likes to call 'the gender neutral pageboy'- suffice to say the hairstyle will not be taking off globally.
To give you a glimpse of what this butcher did he essentially divided my hair into two layers. Trimming the ends and then separating half the head (think if you will what you would do to make a half pony tail) then cut that section two inches shorter- leaving my with two very clear layers. Basically I have an apartheid situation going on between the crown and the nape. However, the horror did not end there. Despite the lack of rhyme or reason for his first offence he then committed a second. He parted my hair in the middle and then took a four inch wide section on the left side and cut it to just below my earlobe and then did the same to a one inch section on the right. It's very much a grown out bangs look/ Gerri Halliwell in the 90s/ Jonathon 'the lebanese butcher's' crimes against my head part two.
Anyways, as you might have noticed it's been four weeks and although it's growing out.... FINALLY---- I actually got a weave the next day, not gonna lie. Only kept it for a day but it helped to briefly numb the pain (alright.... so admittedly I might be feeble but I did definitely puke and then dry when I got home from the crime scene- or as some call it 'Strands' next to 'The Nail Place' at 32 Musa far Adua Street..... ps. I hope I have made my disdain for the institution perfectly clear at this point)----- I am still distraught and that sadness only grows when I see pictures of lovely, brown, even hair such as this.
I wouldn't trade the woman her fiancee but I would gladly take her hair..... fair and probably smile. But I'm mostly concentrating on the hair here.
Maybe it's the fact that I am so sensitive to good hair.... given my situation- but I also wanted to point out that Kim Kardashian's hair is looking exceptionally good of late. Now granted these pictures were taken on Tuesday and Wednesday during her more than 24 hour date with Kanye West and granted Kanye West is a SUPER huge, massive, earth shattering douche bag of epic proportion but he appears to be having a fantastic effect on her hair- which I, obviously, am massively a fan of. It just looks so big and bouncy.
...... and just finally because I can't bring them up and not mention it- how awful would their children be!!!!!!! I imagine they would all be named after designers and clothes head to toe in branded baby garb.... I shudder to think.
