So Brooke Mueller was photographed today holding what is purportedly a crack pipe. Now I am no expert on crack pipes (perhaps not shockingly) but it looks close enough to what I've seen crack pipes to like look (a) and it's in Brooke Mueller's hand (b). It's pretty much as open and shut a case as we could get (so long as Casey Anthony's jury doesn't get involved, gosh forbid they put two and two together).
Now I just wanted to say I was rooting for Brooke a little bit. Why you ask we'll I'll tell you about how that little moment of lunacy came about. Sit back, relax, listen to some Babyshambles (I mean Pete Doherty is basically the unofficial spokesperson to crack after all- it's only fitting) and light up a Marlboro this is how it went down....
So I went to Charlie Sheen's Violent Torpedo of Truth show in Toronto.... YES I know I did. I went and I fing LOVED it. Not every minute of it (the end was a bit of a fizzle) but he and Russell Peters were on FIRE. Now a lot of his material had to do with Brooke Mueller and essentially what a vile creature she was. Part of me went: "Oh Charlie, temper theyself- you have kids. This is their mother" and then the other half of me considered how enraged I would be if I (an admitted womanizer and past addict but other than having a less than normal home life, and let's face it even Hugh Hefner has multiple girlfriends- its not an absolute bar to custody) lost custody of my children to someone with as publicly a checkered past as Brooke Mueller. I would be enraged. Enraged. And considering that I thought let it fly Charlie, let it fly.
And then I saw Paris Hilton's new show which Brooke is featured on (yes I am well aware that I may have lost most of your respect at this point..... if not all; however, I am sufficiently passionate on this issue to continue regardless) and I felt a bit bad. Here was a woman, bit of a failure granted, but she was trying to get her life back on track and she seemed to genuinely have some feelings for Charlie..... yea that emotion was short lived because when I saw this picture I was reminded of (a) what a train wreck she was and (b) the fact that she is just out of rehab AGAIN.
I would finally like to take this moment to point out that Paris Hilton's show might be a lot of things but for me it will now always be the show that failed to convince me to like Brooke Mueller.
Now onto the fashion note. Where the heck did she get her shirt and can a Leafs fan please leap out of a bush and strip it from her engorged and drug addled body. The leafs are having a hard enough time of it without being brandished across the chest of this failure. Secondly.... what is with the heels WITH the leafs shirt and HEELS (and of course track pants). I actually need to pause for a second and consider what I'm more offended by.... the crack pipe or the outfit. I'm going to go with crack pipe because the puritan inside me is crying for her children but the bitch inside me is going mental over those shoes. And on a final note..... the highlights.
I would like to point out that her toe nails are looking fab. Proof that even a drug addled, washed up, crack head, poor excuse for a mother and human being can have a TINY redeeming feature.
