So I just finished the novel 'One Day' by David Nicholls which was AMAZING. Absolutely adored it. Won't lie parts of it were maddening and I wasn't sure how I felt about it but by the end all of the angst and anxiety I felt over the relationship between these two intriguing people was more than worth it. Definitely something I would read again. HOWEVER this post is not about the book. There will definitely be another post extolling its virtues but at this point in time I am frothing was such hatred that I need to immediately address the issue which has been causing me such grief- Anne Hathaway and her insidious face.
The only bad bit about the book was that every time I picked it up I had to see Anne Hathaway's name on the front cover and be confronted that she would be playing the beloved Emma.....
So let's get it out.
I hate Anne Hathaway. I want to punch her in the mouth. I don't feel bad about this because it is my opinion that her mouth (and in fact her entire face) begets punching. I think perhaps I can trace my desire to do her harm to the moment that she didn't get out of the car in 'The Devil Wears Prada'. I realize that she was acting but it just seemed like such an Anne Hathaway thing to do, to get all uppity and self important. To get a job at a fashion magazine and then moan about the obvious implications of that kind of work environment. She strikes me as the kind of girl that in high school had frizzy hair and spent all day sitting around talking about issues that were so far beyond that tiny head (more full of frizz than brain) like politics and international affairs... rather than clearly more immediately pressing (and comprehensible) issues, like where to get a good blow out. I also imagine that she's the kind of person who claims to be a vegetarian but eats chicken 'because there are so many and they are gross looking', the kind of people pleaser who tries so hard to make you like her that.... well you just want to punch her in the mouth (ie. her hosting gig at this years Oscars). I imagine that she's the kind of girl whose mom made her do hip hop so she would have more fun at school dances (and generally cooler) and she went to class and thought she was great and soooooo street.... but never could figure out how to roll her hips. I imagine she wears natural deodorant and smells ever so slightly as a result. I imagine that she has an aversion to bikini waxes and shaves her legs on an irregular basis. I imagine she says she wants to age with grace and never resort to plastic surgery.... even though grace is a word that applies to absolutely nothing she does. I imagine she was so awkward in high school that she couldn't even cross her legs properly when sitting down. I imagine she thought that braces and glasses were slightly cool and that she wore brightly colored clothes and stank of incense. In conclusion, I dislike everything I know about her and everything I assume about her.
But most of all now I dislike that she will be playing Emma. I feel like my beloved character is suffering a literary rape, a bastardization of everything she is at Anne's paws.... her clammy, faux vegetarian, poorly maintained paws. In fact the very idea of Anne Hathaway trying to do a Yorkshire accent makes me want to punch a baby.
